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‘Hatchet III’ Delivers Thrice The Bloodshed And Kills (Movie Review)

Hatchet 3 TNSeriously, how many people out there can rattle off many good third entries in a feature film franchise or at least halfway decent attempts?  Any takers?  They say that by the third time around a movie franchise usually wears out its welcome.  Third time’s not always the charm.  A strong concept is harder to conjecture and any fresh breath air you had you have must be rejuvenated and excite the crowd all over again or else you risk quickly boring the bejesus out of your viewers.  However, lessoned learned, you must not stray too far from that original formula or suffer the curse of The Hangover Part III you will.  How about playing it safe?  Does that ever work?  Very rarely it does in my opinion.  But what about if you give the people what they want?  You know they aren’t coming for mind blowing plots or Oscar worthy performances so why even try to venture down that road?  If you know what people will desire and exactly who will be showing up, then just give it to them.  That’s a pretty easy concept to grasp, huh?  Well thankfully, that’s exactly what Adam Green has done in what I believe to be the third and  final installment in the Hatchet franchise.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Victor Crowley and Hatchet III.

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The only thing slightly different this time out is that the movie is directed by former Hatchet and Hatchet II cameraman BJ McDonnell, but was still written by Mr. Adam Green.  This time around, however, Mr. Green steps in as an Executive Producer.  Between Holliston and this, the man’s making a name for himself.  I love his drive!  Sweetheart Danielle Harris returns in the role of Marybeth Dunston that she made famous in the last outing and horror icon Kane Hodder also returns as the man who will never go down, Victor Crowley.  New to the franchise, please welcome fresh faces such as Zach Galligan (Billy from Gremlins) and Caroline Williams.  They’re here to shake things up a little bit in the Hatchet world.

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The film picks up right where we left off in the swamps of Louisiana as Marybeth has just given Victor Crowley one hell of an a$$ beating and bludgeoning.  Oh no!  News flash!  You can’t kill Victor Crowley!  He will come back!  Thinking she has finally defeated the sociopath, she returns to town only to be imprisoned and blamed for the deaths of all her unlucky companions from the second film.  If you’ve seen the first two entries, although not necessary at all, things will make a lot more sense as you venture throughout the third one here.

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Determined to prove that Marybeth killed and left all the unlucky carcasses behind from the second movie, Sheriff Fowler (Galligan) takes to the swamps with a bunch of mercenaries to investigate and ultimately track down the killer while his ex-wife, Amanda (Williams), a so called expert on Crowley, takes to the streets with an agenda of her own.  You see it’s the ex-wife who believes she knows the secret on how to stop Victor Crowley from coming back to life once and for all.  Will or does it work?  Well, that’s for you to find out and for me to leave the carrot dangling.

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In addition to the cast mentioned above, the cast is also rounded out with Green’s wife, Rileah Vanderbilt, Cody Blue Snider and former Jason Voorhees himself (from the 2009 film), Derek Mears.  If you’ve ever seen any of the Hatchet films, then the first thing that should pop into the back of you medulla oblongata are the ridiculous death scenes.  Don’t fret!  They’re all back again in larger quantities than ever.  And the beltless sander is back too.  Yahoo!

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Now like I said above.  Don’t expect anything new or fresh here.  It’s the same bad acting and same lunacy found in the previous two installments, but it’s the nonsensical bloody kills we are here for, not the performances, right?  Right!  If you go in with that mindset, Hatchet III won’t disappoint.  After all, it can’t be as bad as It’s A Good Day To Die Hard, can it?  You’ll get your fair share of bloodshed, bad acting and much more.  The only thing that disappoints is the lack of Danielle Harris throughout.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s still the main protagonist, but she’s dialed back here compared to her starring role in the second flick.  Not only does that girl have a set of lungs on her, but she can really act too.  She’s a sweetheart in real life as well and it’s a “bloody” shame she wasn’t utilized more.  And sadly, despite Billy bing the film, there’s no Gizmo either.  The filmmakers do what they can dow with this muddy franchise.  There’s only so many places they can take it and as cheesy as it is, I’m actually okay with how they ended things.

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So if you’re cool with all that and you already know what to expect, what the hell?!  Check this one out!  Hatchet III, starting today, is now playing in limited release at theaters possibly near you (http://www.fandango.com/hatchetiii_163409/movieoverview) and also streaming on demand in HD at fine retailers such as iTunes (https://itunes.apple.com/us/movie/id657680074) and whatnot.  Recommended for fans only (you know who you are).

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Owner/Writer/Reviewer/Editor, Dreamer, Producer, Agent of Love, Film Lover, Writer of Screenplays and a Devoted Apostle to all things Ford Mustangs (the real ones with V8's!). Some of my favorite films include FIGHT CLUB, MOULIN ROUGE, THE DARK KNIGHT, STAR WARS alongside television shows such as SEINFELD, 24, SANFORD & SON and even the often loathed in the geek community BIG BANG THEORY. Outside of my three lives I live I also enjoy spending time with my girlfriend and our three girls (of the furry kind).

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