Haywire’s

Here’s the best screenwriter Lem Dobbs could come up with: The best secret agent in the world, this time a private sector contractor, is framed for murder and must trek across Europe and the U.S., from Barcelona to New Mexico, to clear her name and get back at those who wronged her.  These dastardly gents include Channing Tatum –taking a break from his side gig as a Hollister mannequin – as douche bag spy Aaron, horribly underutilized Michael Fassbender as MI-6 operative Paul, Ewan McGregor collecting a paycheck as Mallory’s sleezy boss/ex-boyfriend Kenneth, and Antonio Banderas as Sadaam Hussein pretending to be a Latin American politician (that’s the only plausible excuse for his beard).

It is essentially Kill Bill if Quentin Tarantino had no imagination or respect for his audience.  The reason for the company betraying Mallory gets lost in all the flashbacks and locale changes.  And if you really want the best spy in the world dead or captured, try a more subtle tactic than hand-to-hand combat.  Furthermore, if hand-to-hand combat doesn’t work after four tries, maybe try a new approach.

That’s not to say the movie is all bad.  Despite wooden acting and a plot thinner than the paper it’s printed on, the brisk action flick remains engaging throughout because of all those gritty, teeth-rattling throw downs between sexy super spy Mallory and her former colleagues.

Round One begins at a cozy upstate New York diner.  Mallory’s opponent is Aaron.  He’s supposed to bring her back to Spies R’ Us headquarters, even though later we find out through flashbacks her bosses tried to have her killed a few days prior.  He should have just said, “Come with me if you want to die.”  Of course she refuses his offer, allowing Carano and Tatum to show off their admittedly impressive fighting skills.  One can only hope Christopher Nolan’s fight scenes are half as engaging in The Dark Knight Rises.  Director Stephen Soderbergh wisely sticks with tight medium shots putting the audience right in the action, never averting the camera even as Aaron pounds his fists into Mallory’s pretty mug.  Needing no stand in, Carano takes every intensely believable body slam and elbow herself.  She also expertly delivers her own counter attacks, such as a socket-wrenching armbar. I t’s like she never left the octagon.  At least Soderbergh plays to his actors’ strengths.  Visceral brutality will always overcome even the most vapid plot for the first few weeks at the box office.

You would expect the guy who directed Ocean’s 11 to inject some fun and wit into the action spy genre.  Soderbergh had a good enough cast, even with Carano’s inability to emote anything other than aloof bitch.  She found some honest, comical moments with the kid she carjacked, Scott (Sky High’sMichael Angarano).  If their escape from law enforcement and super soldiers had been the focus of the movie, Haywire could have been a prefect late summer blockbuster.  Instead it languishes in January, Hollywood’s Island of Misfit Movies.

The biggest problem is that every piece of dialogue exists only to advance Mallory to her next fight.  The moments with her Tom Clancy-esque father, played by Bill Paxton, had all the dramatic weight of a CSI:Miami episode in which David Caruso had been lobotomized.  Carano’s smoky, monotone inflection, by the way, was created in post-production to make her sound more intimidating.  So essentially she’s the exact opposite of Andy Serkis.

The only real reason to check this out in the theaters is the fighting.  Otherwise, wait two months until it comes out on Blu-ray.  In the meantime, you might as well play Mortal Kombat while listening to jazz funk, which permeates the soundtrack as nauseum.  Soderbergh’s music choice might be his clever way of showing how hip and different his movies are.  They usually look great, sound pretentious and feel hollow.  It’s exactly what you’d expect from the guy who directed Ocean’s 12 and 13.

Mallory Kane:  You can tell me right now why you sold me out, or you can tell me in ten minutes, when I have my hands around your throat.

Carano stars as Mallory Kane, an independent contractor of sorts, who is hired out by a handler (Kenneth, played by Ewan McGregor) to take care of various…discrete jobs that the government would rather not pull off themselves.  The film begins out of order, but the plot revolves around the results of a rescue mission in Barcelona that sort of leads to another mission for Mallory in Dublin.  She is teamed with a partner (Michael Fassbender), but learns that all is not what it seems and is forced to get out of her situation on her own terms.  While an international manhunt is after her, Mallory now needs to get back to the U.S. and get revenge on those who double crossed her.

I tend to bring up the score a lot in regards to various films.  A particular highlight for me regarding Steven Soderbergh’s Out of Sight and Ocean’s Trilogy was the soundtrack, which was handled by DJ and composer David Homles.  Holmes has teamed up with Soderbergh again for Haywire, which was something that became immediately apparent to me as the film started.  Because of this, I feel I was properly tipped off to what kind of movie this was going to be.  It may have the premise of a Bourne-like film, with a female protagonist (and it kind of is), but this is more like a Lee Marvin-style 70s revenge thriller, with martial arts.  The up-tempo, jazzy score set the mood for me and I enjoyed the film all the more, because of it.

The screenplay by Lem Dobbs, who collaborated with Soderbergh twice before (Kafka and The Limey), is streamlined of most of the extraneous details and stays focused on what matters.  The story is partially told in flashback, but the film’s plot is pretty serviceable (and ridiculous in a lot of ways), acting more as a way to establish the setting and the lead character of Mallory.  Dialogue is fairly sparse, save for the scenes involving mostly the older pros like Douglas and Banderas, but when characters do speak, it feels a lot like a David Mamet screenplay, with very matter-of-fact/in the know-type lingo.  Because of all of this, the best scenes in the film do not involve characters speaking.  Haywire is at its most effective when we find the characters inching closer to bloodshed and then finally getting down to fisticuffs.

I was not all too familiar with Gina Carano before seeing this film, beyond knowing that she was a tough MMA fighter, but after this film, I would be happy seeing more of her.  Being new to the world of acting, it shows in scenes played against people like Michael Fassbender, but when it comes to the action, Carano nails it.  The fact that her face-offs with the other actors in the film were done without doubles makes it all the more exciting, as Soderbergh shoots these fights very effectively.  The action is never muddy and the hits feel like they land.  Fights go on as long as they have to, which is sometimes brief, but often results in more than just headaches for the losers.  It should also be noted that the score, which I talked about really digging earlier, drops during the action to really maximize the impact.  This may not be a traditional action film (come to think of it, Haywire is pretty traditional, just not in a modern cinema sort of way), but Soderbergh’s offbeat style gives this lightweight film a bit more freshness.

Regarding the other actors, not a whole lot is required from anyone, but it is at least nice to see that a lot of talented people enjoy working with Soderbergh.  A key player I can point out is Channing Tatum, who is going to be around a lot in 2012, but demonstrates here just how effective he can be.  What once seemed like a bland male actor has turned into someone whose presence I genuinely enjoy on screen.  People like Michael Douglas and Bill Paxton have all the cool they need just to be around and go through their roles with the subtle touches that make them fun, older actors to watch.  Ewan McGregor is good enough at approaching the sleaziness required in his roles, even if his American accent never quite clicks (has it ever).  Still, this is Carano’s film and she brings plenty of screen presence on her own.

Similar to last year’s Contagion (also from Soderbergh), Haywire does not do a lot to paint a portrait of deep characters.  It instead gets down to basics, establishes the plot of a fairly well-worn story, but delivers in being a solid genre exercise.  The action is well filmed and exciting, the actors involved bring what is required, and the film as a whole is a stylish diversion that serves as a decent break from heavier films.  Soderbergh films tend to come in a few different flavors and Haywire feels like an appropriate entry in his adult-oriented mainstream films with a touch of artistic flare.  Oh, and don’t get in Carano’s way.

Paul:  I’ve never done a woman before.
Kenneth:  You shouldn’t think of her as a woman.  That would be a mistake.

First up was Haywire and this was a fittingly apt description provided by Comic Con concerning the film:

Haywire — An electrifying tale of espionage and betrayal. A female covert ops specialist who works in the deadly world of international operatives strikes back after discovering she’s been double-crossed by someone close to her in the agency. Mixed martial arts superstar Gina Carano makes her feature film — and Comic-Con — debut, starring and performing her own high-adrenaline stunts. Also appearing on the panel is director Stephen Soderbergh and co-star Channing Tatum.

The panel began by introducing director Stephen Soderbergh and stars – Gina Carano and Channing Tatum.  It was interesting to see Stephen Soderbergh present at Comic Con, as he and his penchant for making mostly art house films (mixed with the occasional blockbuster – Ocean’s Eleven) would not seem to gel with the atmosphere, yet he was certainly game to be a part of the experience, as were the other members of the cast.  Soderbergh spoke about the film, which was written by Lem Dobbs, who had written a previous Soderbergh film, The Limey.  It is a spy thriller, as the above description suggests, and features a great cast in addition to MMA fighter Gina Carano.  The cast includes Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas, and Bill “Game Over Man” Paxton.  Following some brief introductions, we were treated to the trailer for the film, which can be found below:

After the trailer, Soderbergh, Carano, and Tatum talked more about the approach to making the film.  The most notable point was how Soderbergh wanted to treat the fights and action in the film as realistic as possible.  He is no fan of fights that go way overlong, when a real fight would last no more than a few minutes, when it comes to trained fighters.  With that in mind, Gina Carano and Channing Tatum spoke of the careful choreography of the fights that take place in the film; along with how effective the safety pads were (only so much).  Following this discussion, a clip of the film was shown, which featured a brutal fight between Carano and Fassbender’s characters, who engage in a kick ass hotel room fight scene.  After this footage, Soderbergh explained how a particular take, used in the film, is one where Fassbender accidently looked directly at a vase that was to be smashed in his face during the scene.

As far as the film goes, I found the trailer and the clip shown to speak well for the film.  It feels like Soderbergh’s take on a Bourne or Taken-like film, and given that I am constantly impressed in the different approaches that Soderbergh takes as a filmmaker, I am looking forward to its release this upcoming January.

Finally, before moving onto the next film, I must point out one question that was asked during the Q&A.  It has previously been made news that Stephen Soderbergh plans to retire from directing in the very near future.  A question related to this was asked of him, which lead to Soderbergh revealing that this is not exactly the case and apparently it was during a (slightly inebriated) conversation with Matt Damon, which led to him stating this as a possibility.  Soderbergh then humorously compared Damon to a 14-year-old girl, as he was the one who started talking up this possibility to the press.  It made me happy to hear this, as I am always excited when it comes to seeing a new Soderbergh film hit theaters.

Next up is The Raven and Comic Con provided this description for the film:

The Raven — The film is a gritty thriller in which Edgar Allan Poe joins forces with a young Baltimore detective to hunt down a mad serial killer who’s using Poe’s own works as the basis for a string of brutal murders. Raven stars John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe, Luke Evans, and Alice Eve and is directed by James McTeigue.

Given the type of film this is, it felt much more Comic Con appropriate to have a murder mystery starring John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe, which is directed by the man who gave us V for Vendetta, be presented.  Director James McTeigue, along with cast members John Cusack, Alice Eve, and Luke Evans were all present at this panel, which started off by providing an early look at the film.  As the film does not arrive until March 2012, this footage was unfortunately exclusive to Con, but what I can say is that the film looks to be very R-rated and promising in the vein of films like Sleepy Hollow and Se7en to an extent.

After the footage, the panel continued with talk about the development of this screenplay and how it is linked to the mysterious circumstances involving the death of Edgar Allan Poe.  The film takes place during the last week of Poe’s life, so it will be interesting to see how this film plays out in that regard, possibly having some fun with the uncertain facts.  The cast and crew also had the chance to shed some light on the production, which took place in Siberia and thoughts on Poe as an author.  As far as the production goes, Alice Eve made a notable statement by pointing out that her character is a hostage for much of the film and explained how she was buried alive (in the film), which had her being forced to be covered with “clean dirt” for most of the days on that particular set.  Concerning Poe, Cusack had a lot of fun talking up Poe as the godfather of Goth and explaining his process in becoming that character.

Director James McTeigue has previously directed V for Vendetta and Ninja Assassin, both of which featured the presence of the Wachowski Brothers and producer Joel Silver.  This is a bit of a move away from that style of filmmaking, so it will be interesting to see how McTeigue manages to handle this period/mystery/horror feature.  The premise is intriguing enough and I like the cast, so I am anticipating this early spring 2012 release.

This dynamic action-thriller directed by Oscar® winner Steven Soderbergh (Traffic) boasts a talented cast that includes Channing Tatum (GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra), Ewan McGregor (The Ghost Writer), Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class), Antonio Banderas (The Legend of Zoro), Bill Paxton (“Big Love”), Michael Douglas (Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Michael Angarano (Almost Famous); and introduces mixed martial arts (MMA) superstar Gina Carano as Mallory Kane, in a demanding lead role that has her performing her own high-adrenaline stunts.

The Eagle

Esca:  How can a piece of metal mean so much to you?
Marcus Aquila:  The eagle is not a piece of metal. The eagle is Rome.

The film is set in 140 AD.  Channing Tatum stars as Marcus Aquila, son of the famed commander of the Ninth Legion.  I say “famed” because the Ninth Legion (consisting of 5,000 men) famously disappeared in the mountains of Scotland, and Marcus’s father has been put to blame.  So Marcus arrives at a new encampment, hoping to find a way to restore honor to his family.  After a small battle, Marcus manages to save his camp but is injured in the process, forcing him to be honorably discharged.  Disappointed, Marcus settles into life, living with his uncle, played by Donald Sutherland.  During a gladiator fight, Marcus helps save the life of a slave, played by Jamie Bell.  This slave, Esca, soon becomes property of Marcus, which will prove to help him on his next journey.  Marcus plans to go out into unknown territory in an effort to retrieve a golden eagle, which was lost along with the Ninth Legion.  Since Esca hails from this area, he can hopefully provide help for Marcus, but trust can be a tricky situation when entering into enemy territory.

It is fitting that I recently watched director Neil Marshall’s 2010 film, Centurion, which also deals with the Ninth Legion.  While not a great film, it was very well made and crafted an identity of its own, mainly due to the way it depicted its violence (it also helped that the film starred the awesome Michael “Magneto” Fassbender).  The Eagle suffers from a lack of ambition.  It goes through the motions of its plot and features some well made scenes, but does not have any sort of style to make it stand out.  Director Kevin Macdonald, who has made better films (Touching the Void, The Last King of Scotland, State of Play), has stumbled a bit here.  He creates neither a compelling period action drama nor a B-movie period thriller.  What is more of a shame is the fact that this film managed to become better as it went along, from a filmmaking perspective.  The third act actually features some distinct camera work and the action becomes more involving.  It is a pity that the whole film could not have felt more like this.

Also not doing the film any favors is the casting of Channing Tatum in the lead.  I don’t have a problem with Tatum in particular; I actually think he can bring the right kind of energy to the right kind of role, even if his range is a bit narrow.  He can easily work at being a character that is tough and handsome, but also soft and a bit dim.  In this film, Tatum is miscast.  The character he is playing has no charisma, so added to a film that already lacks an evocative style; a bland lead does not help the proceedings.  His “here a minute, gone the next” accent does not help the film either.

The film does get help from Jamie Bell as the slave, Esca.  Similar to someone like Ben Foster, who I watched recently in The Mechanic (which, ironically, also had Donald Sutherland), Bell is a talented young actor, who brings a certain quality needed to a film that would be otherwise very boring to watch.  Bell knows how to do a lot with some of the emotion he displays in his looks towards the other characters, and the film is all the better for it.  While he is not a saving grace for this film, Bell at least makes his character work and actually provides a decent enough weight for Tatum to play off of.  I also have to mention that Mark Strong turns up for a small role as well, and for some reason I always enjoy seeing this actor.

I did enjoy the handling of the action, for the most part, in this film.  While budgetary reasons probably factored into this as well, I can appreciate a film that manages to really dial down the CG and work with a lot of practical elements instead.  It is nice to see a battle scene staged with tons of people that are physically on camera and not digitally created later on for a change.  Despite some of the early action scenes being, once again, filmed incredibly close up and shot at night, the film built its way up nicely, as it staged more cohesive battle sequences.  The PG-13 rating means that this film, which is supposedly depicting the savageness of both Romans and those opposing them, is rather bloodless, but still gets its tone across well enough.

The overall experience of this film is one of the worst kinds of ratings I can give, which is to say that it is merely acceptable.  It is not laughably bad or terrible by any means, but it also isn’t very good; The Eagle just kind of sits in the middle.  There is some decent action, some really nice scenery (Oscar winner Anthony Dod Mantle handled the cinematography here), but the film is also slowly paced and lacks any sort of charm (the final bit at the end is also pretty silly).  I would say seek out Centurion if you are in the mood to learn more about the Ninth Legion in a silly action movie type of way, because this eagle has landed a bit below passable.

Esca:  You’re my slave.  Do as I did for you, and you’ll survive.

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#10  Law Abiding Citizen

The all-star pairing of Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx was a brilliant tag team in this edge-of-your-seat thriller.  Butler played a man who lost his wife and daughter to a pair of scum bag murderers.  Foxx played a Philadelphia prosecutor who was fixed on his prosecution ratio more so than making the bad guys pay their full dues in the justice system.  Butler’s character keeps the authorities buzzing in frustrated confusion as his crimes against those employed in the justice system continue while he remains in prison.  The movie delivered a ton of wow’s and some great hero/anti-hero chemistry between the two leads. 

#9 Paranormal Activity

For a film that cost a pittance to make, it did all it could with a few bucks and ran wild in theaters across the country.  For those that waved their hands in disgust saying, “I’m not seeing that.  It’s Blair Witch all over again,” shame on you.  For someone who is not a fan of horror films, this movie earned two thumbs up from this reviewer.  While slow to progress at times, Paranormal Activity brought us a final 30 minutes of film time that was nothing less than a holy $#*% ride.  I give director Oren Peli all kinds of credit for keeping movie-goers’ eyes and ears glued to this film for doing so much with so little.  The anticipation experienced in waiting from scene to scene was something I had not encountered in a film for a loooong time. 

#8  The Proposal

No, this film is not on my list because I love Sandra Bullock.  It was just a really fun romantic comedy that brought us some great rivalry between Bullock and co-star Ryan Reynolds.  Bullock’s character, Margaret Tate, is about to face deportation to Canada for not completing the proper immigration procedures after residing in the U.S. for some time.  In an instant, she hatches a plan of marriage to her go-for employee, U.S. citizen Andrew Paxton (Reynolds).  The two play a charade back and forth in order to deceive and convince Paxton’s family and the U.S. Government that their relationship is real.  Albeit a Hollywood ending, The Proposal was one of two films this year that provided me with a smile for nearly its complete runtime. 

#7  Zombieland

The previews looked good, but how would the entire film be?  Remember when I just said two films in 2009 put a smile on my face?  This was the other one.  Zombieland‘s comedic romp through the streets of an infected USA was an absolute blast.  The characters were well developed, Woody Harrelson was great as the shotgun-toting Tallahassee, and the video-game like editing (at times) made this a unique and fun movie.  Throw in a little Bill Murray for good measure and you can’t go wrong! 

#6  Ninja Assassin

What is it with males and their undying fascination with ninjas?  Personally I think it’s their mythology and the fact that we often haven’t been able to separate fact from fiction of the ninjitsu persona.  Starring Asian pop star Rain, Ninja Assassin was but a blip on the radar of many a movie watcher in late 2009.  I thoroughly enjoyed this film that actually had some proficient acting and a decent story as we follow the path of one ninja who has broken from the clan of his evil brethren.  There’s no shortage of airborne shuriken, amputations and black-shrouded, kitana-wielding acrobats in this action film.  Through the first 15 minutes or so, I thought I was in for a very long 2 hours.  The movie picked it up in a hurry though and brought an entertaining story.  I am eagerly awaiting the Blu-ray release of this bad boy. 

#5 Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

The Underworld franchise is one of my favorites.  When I heard a new Underworld movie was in the works minus Kate Beckinsale, I was a bit disappointed.  However, I still made it a point to head out in the blustery winds of February and catch this vampire and werewolf free-for-all.  For the inundated, this movie is a prequel to the previously released Underworld films, showing how the lycan Lucian (Michael Sheen) came to be while developing the forbidden romance between he and the vampire Sonja (Rhona Mitra).  The movie hits its climax with an all out mass battle of werewolves and fang-sporting bloodsuckers as few are spared in this medieval conflict of supernatural species. 

#4  G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

How could a movie filled with bad acting be so high on my list?  Easy!  I got to relive my childhood on the big screen.  With the you’re-no-thespian abilities of Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller, G.I. Joe brought what was simply a good old, shoot-em-up action film that I returned to see multiple times.  I thoroughly enjoyed seeing characters such as Snake Eyes, Destro and General Hawk being brought to life in front of the camera, as well as the Joe and Cobra vehicles that were always two steps ahead of the traditional military.  The tag-line placements throughout the film were well done, the Paris chase was riveting and the ninjitsu duel between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow was just awesome.  Heck,  even the closing battle, though Death Star-esque, was exciting to see in the original, underwater environment. 

#3  The Blind Side

Who’s Michael Oher?  A couple months back my answer was “Ya got me!”  Today, however, I have been educated on the gentleman and his adoptive family.  Starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw and Quinton Aaron, this film tells the true story of how Leigh Anne Touhy (Bullock) and husband Sean (McGraw), take in a seemingly homeless and socially reclusive Michael Oher.  Oher had a mother but had not spoken to her in years.  Who knew where his father was and being the God-fearing Christian folk they were, the Touhy’s took in Michael one cold, rainy night as he walked a path to nowhere.  Introducing the big man to the sport of football, Oher took a liking to the game and grew into a standout player on the field and in the classroom.  If you aren’t familiar with this man, go see the movie because I’m not going to give the ending away here.  The Blind Side gets my vote as the most beautiful film of the year. 

#2  The Hangover

I love a good comedy.  The problem is they are so few and far between at times that I have trouble thinking of a good one that was recently released.  All hail the arrival of The Hangover.  When I saw the trailer for this film, my very first thought was “Looks like I’m passing on that one.”  When I saw it for the first time in theaters, I found myself laughing out loud repeatedly in this wildly brash, witty, offensive, side-splitting comedy.  When I saw it for the second time in theaters, I had the same reaction.  The team chemistry of Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Justin Bartha is complemented by the comedic presence of Zach Galifianakis, whose stupid innocence is so convincing that his character’s laugh-inducing ability is increased ten fold.  The outlandish antics of the four and the bad luck that follows is delivered with perfect timing in this mad race to find Doug (Bartha) and get him home to his wedding in time.

#1  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

After experiencing a disappointing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull some time back, I vowed never to attend a midnight showing again.  Then a co-worker convinced me to tag along for the 12am showing of this year’s Transformers sequel.  The first film was outstanding and banked truckloads of cash for a movie that contained cutting edge effects, a solid story and some good comedic overtones.  How did Revenge of the Fallen match up?  It wasn’t the full powerhouse that it’s predecessor was, yet it came close, bringing fans what they’d been seeking in the robot sentient follow-up; an all-out war between the Autobots and Decepticons.  This was no street fight like the first film.  This was Rock’em Sock’em robots on an even grander scale.  The film’s special effects were still as strong as before and the comedy, though sometimes cheaply delivered, was still cleverly blue-collar. 

I did want to take a minute and address the critics of characters Skids and Mudflap.  Some said they were the Jar Jar Binks of Transformers.  Okay, I can kind of see where you’re coming from there, though the green and orange bots weren’t anywhere close to the level of annoyance that Jar Jar was in The Phantom Menace.  What got me were those that said the characters were racist.  You have got to be kidding me you overly liberal, politically correct, cry babies.  I take the train through the inner city to work each day and hear the ‘n-word’ passed around like free samples at the grocery store.  Do not look at these fictional characters and say they are racist and do not feel the need to be offended for someone else.  To those critics, please go back to your cave you socially ignorant imbeciles. 

And now, back to our show!  In the end, Revenge of the Fallen was my summer blockbuster that, believe it or not, held a variety of aspects that were more than just flying fists and bullets.  The final highlight of the film was the adrenaline-pumping fight between Optimus Prime and his arch nemeses; Megatron and The Fallen.  This juiced-up battle was full of rage and destruction and from the moment that Optimus jetted off toward the top dogs of the Decepticons, I did not blink, depriving my pupils of some much needed moisture.  As the movie came to a close and Linkin Park filled the air with another rocking tune, I knew my film of the year had arrived.   

Honorable Mention

Inglorious Basterds

Tarantino’s latest work just missed the mark on making my top ten of the year.  A fictional take on occurrences in World War II, Brad Pitt leads a band of merry Jews on the hunt for some not so merry Nazis.  The film features some great acting, especially from the likes of Christoph Waltz as the elegantly evil Colonel Hans Landa.  Pitt’s Tennessee delivery of “Bonjourno” had to be the best-timed comedic piece in the film.  Who ever thought a little bit of Italian could command so many laughs in the theater?  If you knew Lieutenant Aldo Raine, you’d know why this is just plain funny.  Some scenes will put a rock in your gut as the undercover agent is about to be had while others will leave you chuckling at the screen.  I’m not much of a Tarantino fan, but this film was one smart piece of work.

Up in the Air

George Clooney stars as Ryan Bingham, a sort reverse head-hunter for companies.  Instead of hiring people, it’s his job to go out and fire them for employers too cowardly to execute the deed themselves.  The movie takes on multiple, very real aspects of the job.  There’s the emotional toll of firing people and effectively seeing their occupational lives come to a screeching halt.  There’s also the variable of relationships on the road and grooming an understudy on the job who’s ready to steal your thunder.  You won’t find a Hollywood ending in this great piece of work directed by Jason Reitman.

Biggest Disappointments

9

Though there were several disappointing films in 2009, I had three standouts that topped my list.  The first was the animated film 9.  This movie was utter garbage as its only perk was some beautiful animation.  Other than that it was a boring production that became the world’s longest chase scene.  “Oh god, 5 just got captured!  Let’s get him!  Oh no!  Now 6 is in jail!”  Holy crap!  Am I back in math class??  Someone wrap a baseball bat around my head because I can’t take this nonsense any longer!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Next on the list is Wolverine.  I love his character and Hugh Jackman is awesome in the role.  Yet somehow director Gavin Hood managed to destroy this movie.  If you’re not into comic books, chances are you enjoyed this work.  If are into the comic genre and you understand Wolverine’s history, you most likely thought this movie was rubbish.  I have four significant complaints. 

One, the romantic chemistry between Logan and girlfriend Kayla was almost non-existent.  We were close to approaching Anakin and Padmé unbelievability.  Two, actor Taylor Kitsch was a horrible Gambit.  Nice Cajun accent, lad.  Where did it go?  It left and came back and left again.  Three, we’ve got the special effects.  Wolverine’s blades looked more realistic in the X-Men trilogy than they did here.  A CGI Patrick Stewart?  Ridiculously fake.  The collapsing nuclear plant?  Bad.  Finally, there’s the coupe de grace.  Deadpool.  In the comics, Deadpool has one biologically enhanced ability; accelerated healing.  Suddenly in this film he can shoot lasers from his eyes, teleport at will and generate Baraka-like blades from his arms.  Even in the realm of fiction, I could not suspend disbelief for this long.  This movie was garbage.

Avatar

Lock and load, people.  Get ready to fire your volleys at me because this movie was a big bore.  How so?  It was unoriginal and drawn out in story.  Whether you like it or dislike it is purely opinion.  However, to say this movie borrower heavily elsewhere is fact.  This film was Dances With Wolves in space.  I love Dance With Wolves, but I’m not big on Avatar which was more eye candy than anything else.  Cool battle, decent acting, ingenious environment, but it featured a story that, for the most part, has been done before.  Oh how quickly we forget.