Why So Blu?

Gregg’s Best & Worst Cinema Films of 2009

2009 was an interesting year for films.  By mid-summer, I was wondering if I was going to be able to fill out this list.  Hasbro made a splash with two of its most successful lines appearing in theaters.  Sandra Bullock had two films surface this year.  Vampires seemed to be at the turn of every corner and Woody Harrelson made his Hollywood comeback.  So, what topped the list and what was a cinematic bomb?  Follow this list to the films of greatness (and not so great) for 2009!

 

#10  Law Abiding Citizen

The all-star pairing of Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx was a brilliant tag team in this edge-of-your-seat thriller.  Butler played a man who lost his wife and daughter to a pair of scum bag murderers.  Foxx played a Philadelphia prosecutor who was fixed on his prosecution ratio more so than making the bad guys pay their full dues in the justice system.  Butler’s character keeps the authorities buzzing in frustrated confusion as his crimes against those employed in the justice system continue while he remains in prison.  The movie delivered a ton of wow’s and some great hero/anti-hero chemistry between the two leads. 

 

#9 Paranormal Activity

For a film that cost a pittance to make, it did all it could with a few bucks and ran wild in theaters across the country.  For those that waved their hands in disgust saying, “I’m not seeing that.  It’s Blair Witch all over again,” shame on you.  For someone who is not a fan of horror films, this movie earned two thumbs up from this reviewer.  While slow to progress at times, Paranormal Activity brought us a final 30 minutes of film time that was nothing less than a holy $#*% ride.  I give director Oren Peli all kinds of credit for keeping movie-goers’ eyes and ears glued to this film for doing so much with so little.  The anticipation experienced in waiting from scene to scene was something I had not encountered in a film for a loooong time. 

 

#8  The Proposal

No, this film is not on my list because I love Sandra Bullock.  It was just a really fun romantic comedy that brought us some great rivalry between Bullock and co-star Ryan Reynolds.  Bullock’s character, Margaret Tate, is about to face deportation to Canada for not completing the proper immigration procedures after residing in the U.S. for some time.  In an instant, she hatches a plan of marriage to her go-for employee, U.S. citizen Andrew Paxton (Reynolds).  The two play a charade back and forth in order to deceive and convince Paxton’s family and the U.S. Government that their relationship is real.  Albeit a Hollywood ending, The Proposal was one of two films this year that provided me with a smile for nearly its complete runtime. 

 

#7  Zombieland

The previews looked good, but how would the entire film be?  Remember when I just said two films in 2009 put a smile on my face?  This was the other one.  Zombieland‘s comedic romp through the streets of an infected USA was an absolute blast.  The characters were well developed, Woody Harrelson was great as the shotgun-toting Tallahassee, and the video-game like editing (at times) made this a unique and fun movie.  Throw in a little Bill Murray for good measure and you can’t go wrong! 

 

 

#6  Ninja Assassin

What is it with males and their undying fascination with ninjas?  Personally I think it’s their mythology and the fact that we often haven’t been able to separate fact from fiction of the ninjitsu persona.  Starring Asian pop star Rain, Ninja Assassin was but a blip on the radar of many a movie watcher in late 2009.  I thoroughly enjoyed this film that actually had some proficient acting and a decent story as we follow the path of one ninja who has broken from the clan of his evil brethren.  There’s no shortage of airborne shuriken, amputations and black-shrouded, kitana-wielding acrobats in this action film.  Through the first 15 minutes or so, I thought I was in for a very long 2 hours.  The movie picked it up in a hurry though and brought an entertaining story.  I am eagerly awaiting the Blu-ray release of this bad boy. 

 

#5 Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

The Underworld franchise is one of my favorites.  When I heard a new Underworld movie was in the works minus Kate Beckinsale, I was a bit disappointed.  However, I still made it a point to head out in the blustery winds of February and catch this vampire and werewolf free-for-all.  For the inundated, this movie is a prequel to the previously released Underworld films, showing how the lycan Lucian (Michael Sheen) came to be while developing the forbidden romance between he and the vampire Sonja (Rhona Mitra).  The movie hits its climax with an all out mass battle of werewolves and fang-sporting bloodsuckers as few are spared in this medieval conflict of supernatural species. 

 

#4  G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

How could a movie filled with bad acting be so high on my list?  Easy!  I got to relive my childhood on the big screen.  With the you’re-no-thespian abilities of Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller, G.I. Joe brought what was simply a good old, shoot-em-up action film that I returned to see multiple times.  I thoroughly enjoyed seeing characters such as Snake Eyes, Destro and General Hawk being brought to life in front of the camera, as well as the Joe and Cobra vehicles that were always two steps ahead of the traditional military.  The tag-line placements throughout the film were well done, the Paris chase was riveting and the ninjitsu duel between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow was just awesome.  Heck,  even the closing battle, though Death Star-esque, was exciting to see in the original, underwater environment. 

 

#3  The Blind Side

Who’s Michael Oher?  A couple months back my answer was “Ya got me!”  Today, however, I have been educated on the gentleman and his adoptive family.  Starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw and Quinton Aaron, this film tells the true story of how Leigh Anne Touhy (Bullock) and husband Sean (McGraw), take in a seemingly homeless and socially reclusive Michael Oher.  Oher had a mother but had not spoken to her in years.  Who knew where his father was and being the God-fearing Christian folk they were, the Touhy’s took in Michael one cold, rainy night as he walked a path to nowhere.  Introducing the big man to the sport of football, Oher took a liking to the game and grew into a standout player on the field and in the classroom.  If you aren’t familiar with this man, go see the movie because I’m not going to give the ending away here.  The Blind Side gets my vote as the most beautiful film of the year. 

 

#2  The Hangover

I love a good comedy.  The problem is they are so few and far between at times that I have trouble thinking of a good one that was recently released.  All hail the arrival of The Hangover.  When I saw the trailer for this film, my very first thought was “Looks like I’m passing on that one.”  When I saw it for the first time in theaters, I found myself laughing out loud repeatedly in this wildly brash, witty, offensive, side-splitting comedy.  When I saw it for the second time in theaters, I had the same reaction.  The team chemistry of Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Justin Bartha is complemented by the comedic presence of Zach Galifianakis, whose stupid innocence is so convincing that his character’s laugh-inducing ability is increased ten fold.  The outlandish antics of the four and the bad luck that follows is delivered with perfect timing in this mad race to find Doug (Bartha) and get him home to his wedding in time.

 

#1  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

After experiencing a disappointing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull some time back, I vowed never to attend a midnight showing again.  Then a co-worker convinced me to tag along for the 12am showing of this year’s Transformers sequel.  The first film was outstanding and banked truckloads of cash for a movie that contained cutting edge effects, a solid story and some good comedic overtones.  How did Revenge of the Fallen match up?  It wasn’t the full powerhouse that it’s predecessor was, yet it came close, bringing fans what they’d been seeking in the robot sentient follow-up; an all-out war between the Autobots and Decepticons.  This was no street fight like the first film.  This was Rock’em Sock’em robots on an even grander scale.  The film’s special effects were still as strong as before and the comedy, though sometimes cheaply delivered, was still cleverly blue-collar. 

I did want to take a minute and address the critics of characters Skids and Mudflap.  Some said they were the Jar Jar Binks of Transformers.  Okay, I can kind of see where you’re coming from there, though the green and orange bots weren’t anywhere close to the level of annoyance that Jar Jar was in The Phantom Menace.  What got me were those that said the characters were racist.  You have got to be kidding me you overly liberal, politically correct, cry babies.  I take the train through the inner city to work each day and hear the ‘n-word’ passed around like free samples at the grocery store.  Do not look at these fictional characters and say they are racist and do not feel the need to be offended for someone else.  To those critics, please go back to your cave you socially ignorant imbeciles. 

And now, back to our show!  In the end, Revenge of the Fallen was my summer blockbuster that, believe it or not, held a variety of aspects that were more than just flying fists and bullets.  The final highlight of the film was the adrenaline-pumping fight between Optimus Prime and his arch nemeses; Megatron and The Fallen.  This juiced-up battle was full of rage and destruction and from the moment that Optimus jetted off toward the top dogs of the Decepticons, I did not blink, depriving my pupils of some much needed moisture.  As the movie came to a close and Linkin Park filled the air with another rocking tune, I knew my film of the year had arrived.   

 

 

Honorable Mention

 

Inglorious Basterds

Tarantino’s latest work just missed the mark on making my top ten of the year.  A fictional take on occurrences in World War II, Brad Pitt leads a band of merry Jews on the hunt for some not so merry Nazis.  The film features some great acting, especially from the likes of Christoph Waltz as the elegantly evil Colonel Hans Landa.  Pitt’s Tennessee delivery of “Bonjourno” had to be the best-timed comedic piece in the film.  Who ever thought a little bit of Italian could command so many laughs in the theater?  If you knew Lieutenant Aldo Raine, you’d know why this is just plain funny.  Some scenes will put a rock in your gut as the undercover agent is about to be had while others will leave you chuckling at the screen.  I’m not much of a Tarantino fan, but this film was one smart piece of work.

 

Up in the Air

George Clooney stars as Ryan Bingham, a sort reverse head-hunter for companies.  Instead of hiring people, it’s his job to go out and fire them for employers too cowardly to execute the deed themselves.  The movie takes on multiple, very real aspects of the job.  There’s the emotional toll of firing people and effectively seeing their occupational lives come to a screeching halt.  There’s also the variable of relationships on the road and grooming an understudy on the job who’s ready to steal your thunder.  You won’t find a Hollywood ending in this great piece of work directed by Jason Reitman.

 

 

Biggest Disappointments

 

9

Though there were several disappointing films in 2009, I had three standouts that topped my list.  The first was the animated film 9.  This movie was utter garbage as its only perk was some beautiful animation.  Other than that it was a boring production that became the world’s longest chase scene.  “Oh god, 5 just got captured!  Let’s get him!  Oh no!  Now 6 is in jail!”  Holy crap!  Am I back in math class??  Someone wrap a baseball bat around my head because I can’t take this nonsense any longer!

 

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Next on the list is Wolverine.  I love his character and Hugh Jackman is awesome in the role.  Yet somehow director Gavin Hood managed to destroy this movie.  If you’re not into comic books, chances are you enjoyed this work.  If are into the comic genre and you understand Wolverine’s history, you most likely thought this movie was rubbish.  I have four significant complaints. 

One, the romantic chemistry between Logan and girlfriend Kayla was almost non-existent.  We were close to approaching Anakin and Padmé unbelievability.  Two, actor Taylor Kitsch was a horrible Gambit.  Nice Cajun accent, lad.  Where did it go?  It left and came back and left again.  Three, we’ve got the special effects.  Wolverine’s blades looked more realistic in the X-Men trilogy than they did here.  A CGI Patrick Stewart?  Ridiculously fake.  The collapsing nuclear plant?  Bad.  Finally, there’s the coupe de grace.  Deadpool.  In the comics, Deadpool has one biologically enhanced ability; accelerated healing.  Suddenly in this film he can shoot lasers from his eyes, teleport at will and generate Baraka-like blades from his arms.  Even in the realm of fiction, I could not suspend disbelief for this long.  This movie was garbage.

 

Avatar

Lock and load, people.  Get ready to fire your volleys at me because this movie was a big bore.  How so?  It was unoriginal and drawn out in story.  Whether you like it or dislike it is purely opinion.  However, to say this movie borrower heavily elsewhere is fact.  This film was Dances With Wolves in space.  I love Dance With Wolves, but I’m not big on Avatar which was more eye candy than anything else.  Cool battle, decent acting, ingenious environment, but it featured a story that, for the most part, has been done before.  Oh how quickly we forget.