Why So Blu?

Legion a Sinful Mess

Let the games begin!  No, I’m not referring to the upcoming Winter Olympics.  Rather, those were the words that rang through my mind as we entered 2010.  I looked forward with cinematic excitement as the list of releases brought child-like excitement to my eyes.  Up to the halfway mark of 2009, I was beginning to wonder if I would ever be able to fill out my top-10 list for movies of the year.  Now granted, we’re not even out of January yet, but I still do not have anything in mind to throw on that list for 2010. 

The trailer looked freakish and riveting, spotted with a cast of decent actors.  Two angels were battling for the upper hand.  M-16’s were being locked and loaded.  An old lady with black pupils maneuvered across a ceiling even without Lionel Richie playing in the background.  This all adds up to the films premise; God has lost his faith in mankind and sends angels to rid the planet of all humans.  Hmmm, did someone fall asleep in Sunday school?  I’m not trying to get on a religious kick here, but if you made a Peanuts movie, you wouldn’t make Snoopy blue.  There’s artistic license, then there’s stretching something beyond acceptability.  Legion successfully accomplished the latter. 

Even the likes of General Hawk, I mean Dennis Quaid, could not save this film which also starred Charles S. Dutton, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Paul Bettany, and Adrianne Palicki.  There were so many heartfelt discussions that took place during the whatever-minute runtime of Legion that tremendously bogged down the story’s flow.  The dialogue was unmoving and even hokey at times and I wasn’t the only one in the theater who lost a connection with the story’s characters.  Heck, if I got a dollar for every sigh of disgust I heard in my row during this film, my 401k would be a lot better off right now.  Even the editing from one scene to the next was head-scratching on occasion as I sat there wondering who thought these were functional segways.  If you told me the reason for the uneven transitions was from director Scott Stewart becoming so bored with his own work that he just said ‘heck with it,’ well, I’d believe you. 

The action sequences are entertaining for the most part, but really, who would have thought that Satan and Heckler & Koch would be the biggest concerns for God’s army?  That’s no slight against H&K, but I never would have guessed that small arms fire could make a dent in taking on the Creator of all life.  We all have our kryptonite I suppose, eh?  Mine happens to be brunettes and misleading trailers.