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Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar “X-Men” Children (Movie Review)

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children is a “peculiar” name in its own right, don’t you think?  So here’s the deal.  There’s a guy I know in my work/personal life that has been talking about this film for over a year now.  He seems to be quite the movie connoisseur, but here’s the kicker.  He never goes to the theater.  He always watches from home (maybe it’s safer that way).  I had to almost drag him out of work to see Hell or High Water, which is basically his life story down here in Texas.  And guess what?  He loved it!  So when I got the press invite for Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children I knew I had to invite him.  After all, it was only right as he was my only co-worker who bought me a birthday present.  Feast your eyes on this Cleveland sports beauty here.

Right off the bat Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children has something special going for it.  No I’m not talking about any of the usual Eva Green nudity.  Darn it!  Although she does look radiant in here doesn’t she?  However, I’m talking about the legendary and quirky Tim Burton.  He directs this from a screenplay by Jane Goldman, based upon the best-selling novel written by Ransom Riggs.  In addition to Eva, our fantasy film here stars Asa Butterfield, Chris O’Dowd, Allison Janney, Rupert Everett, Terence Stamp, Ella Purnell, Judi Dench and even Samuel L. Jackson.  That’s quite the impressive lineup, but it means nothing if the end product sucks.  So how’s the movie?  Patience.  I’m getting there.

Thanks to his battle worn grandfather, Jake (Butterfield) discovers clues to a mystery that spans alternate realities and times.  On an island in Whales he uncovers a secret refuge known as Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children.  It is here that his ordinary life takes an extraordinary turn as the childhood fairytales he heard from his grandfather become totally real.  As he learns about the residents here and their unusual abilities, Jake realizes the danger his grandfather spoke about lurks close.  Virtually nothing or no one is what they seem.  Jake must figure out who is real, who can be trusted, and who he really is all at the same time.  Sounds complex, huh?  Come on!  Look who we’re talking about here.  It’s directed by Burton!  Ultimately Jake is forced to make decisions to protect the ones he loves and cares about from the monsters that seek to vehemently destroy all.  And that’s all I’ll say.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children felt a lot like an X-Men movie in a Burton universe crossed with a lopper film like Groundhog Day or Edge of Tomorrow for example.  It’s really fantastical and interesting at times, but ultimately for me it fell fat and bloated once Sam Jackson arrives.  Up until then, the film which I am really enjoying takes a detour with a very stupid concept that did not work for me.  That was kind of disappointing because I was really becoming engrossed in the world Burton created here up until the protagonist was revealed.  However, it was the rushed resolution that really spelled D-O-O-M for me.  The film could have redeemed itself, but it felt like they really ran out of ideas and just needed to resolve things as quickly as possible.

Another mixed bag of nuts for me were the visual effects.  Some of them were wonderful like the invisible boy and underwater adventures, but others were just mediocre and made horror films like Babadook look like they had a bigger budget than this one.  Something else I could not help thinking about, but should be a no-brainer because it is a Burton film are the colors.  Talk about looking meh and void of any vibrancy.  This is unmistakably a Tim Burton film void of any life, kind of like watching death.  However, I digress as I know there are a lot of Burton lovers out there so I’ll tread carefully here.  Ha ha.

Last but not least I want to talk about the performances.  Despite the subpar story at times I really enjoyed the performances throughout.  I was a bit nervous at first because the dialogue started out feeling wooden, but once our protagonist was set into motion things felt natural and smooth.  I have no complaints about our leading man Asa, but it was Eva Green who steals though show as usual through the stern, commanding looks she delivers.  Her beauty cuts through everything here and her charisma is second to none against any other onscreen character.  And then there’s Sam Jackson’s character.  Ugh.  Is he just collecting a paycheck or does he really not care if he takes the same roles over and over?  I don’t know.  All I do know is this, I could have used some more Eva Green screen time even though she doesn’t shed her clothes.  Boo!

In conclusion, I really wanted to love Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. I wanted to re-live my fantastical childhood all over again with this.  Ultimately I did not.  The film succumbed to a rushed third act and a ridiculous premise that despite the sci-fi time hopping it never reeled me back in.  Throw in a weak villain and a boring protagonist and all you have is a Tim Burton visualized film grasping to stay afloat.  There are some really cute moments to be had here, but they are few and far between.  That’s the shame about this.  There’s a real good story somewhere here, but some time around the midpoint, maybe it was multiple revisions or what not, the script came unwound and no time loop could save it from being dull, lackluster and forgetful in the end.  My score below reflects both my love for certain moments and my nod to Tim Burton, but nothing more.  Your results may vary, but proceed with caution and yield to any better choices out there.

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Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Opens Everywhere September 30th!

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