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Ted (Movie Review)

Admit it, how many of you out there growing up had a teddy bear, bunny rabbit or some sort of stuffed animal or doll as your bff?  Imagine that favorite toy coming to life, holy crap how awesome would that be, right?  Well Seth MacFarlane, creator/writer of Family Guy, has done such that and even better…he has brought it to the big screen.  Fueled with the goofy and profane style that the TV show has, Seth pushes his insane comedy to the edge, but he doesn’t make you feel like you want to jump.  I think it is one of those movies that with each subsequent viewing it gets funnier and funnier.  Of course this is an R rated movie, but Ted is a booze drinking, pot smoking, burping, farting, Flash Gordon lover and a sex-crazed teddy bear that emailed Hasbro about not giving him a penis.

Back in 1985 John (Mark Walhberg) got a teddy bear for Christmas from his parents.  Having no friends and being lonely, the bear he affectionately named Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) instantly became his best friend.  Wishing his bear was alive, John did in fact receive a miracle when he woke the next morning and Ted had come to life.  Needless to say the bear became famous, he even went on the Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show, but all this time Ted never forgot about his best friend John and stayed true to their friendship.  Like every new fad in America, Ted’s new found aliveness faded.

Fast forward to John as an adult, still bff’s with Ted, who looks a little tattered; the two are on the couch in John and Lori’s (Mila Kunis) apartment drinking and getting stoned.  John still wants to spend all his time with Ted, but there comes a time that we all need to grow up.  Celebrating their 4th year of dating, Lori is ready to take their relationship to the next level, but he is not ready yet.  Lori has a good career, but her creepy boss Rex (Joel McHale) is constantly sexually harassing her.  Joel McHale weirded me out even more in this movie than he does in his show The Soup.  He plays this part very well.

John works at a car rental place, but his lack of career doesn’t really bother Lori because he is so sweet and such a good person, and yes those are qualities hard to find.  What does bother her is that John spends all his time getting drunk and stoned with Ted, even blowing off work to hang with him.  Lori is forced to give John an ultimatum, her or his Thunder buddy.  John really loves Lori and doesn’t want to lose her so he has to painfully tell Ted that he needs to move out.  Ted now has to find a job and a place to live.

I know what your thinking, dump that girl, but this movie actually has some depth to it.  We all have to face adulthood at some point, and yes it means letting go of our childish ways.  John really does love her.

John and Lori are at a party at Rex’s house when John gets the call from Ted.  He is having a party and Flash Gordon showed up.  John asks Rex not to tell Lori that he left says he will be back shortly.  Needless to say the party is out of control and John loses track of time getting wasted with Ted and the Flash.  Lori shows up at Ted’s apartment, heart broken and crying.   She breaks up with John.

Ted wants to help John get Lori back, but they end up in one of the funniest fight scenes I have ever seen.  That little bear kicked the crap out of John because he said he wished he had gotten a Teddy Ruxpin instead.  Also, I have to warn you Giovanni Ribisi shows up somewhere in the middle of the movie, adding a whole new level of weirdness.  The more I see Ribisi, the more I like him.  He always plays such a strange character.

I have to admit laughter is not the only emotion you’re going to feel throughout this movie.  The chemistry between Wahlberg and Kunis makes you want to cheer for them to make it.  The relationship between Wahlberg and this CG animated bear with a heavy Boston accent makes you want to cheer for them also.  They are both so loveable.  Look for cameos from Ryan Reynolds, Norah Jones and Tom Skerritt.  This kind of crude comedy isn’t for everyone, but there is sweetness to the film that will help you have an emotional connection to the characters.  If you’re a fan of Family Guy, you know you’re going to love this movie!!!!!

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3 Responses to “Ted (Movie Review)”


  1. Brian White

    You almost had me Mary.
    This review wants me to go suck my pride up and see Ted.
    Aaron almost convinced me the other day too. Under his recommendation I checked out the red band trailers. Still…I’m unaffected.
    And I’m a huge Family Guy fan too 🙁

  2. Patrick

    Mary,
    This film is hilarious and contains a great mix of comedy and care. And it also reinforces the fact that fat people are just funny to watch. lol

  3. Gregg

    Really enjoyed it! It had its moments of lag but had my sides splitting at times. Your score couldn’t have been more accurate.