Why So Blu?

A Not So Perfect Getaway

As my title implies, this movie should be called A Not So Prefect Getaway.  Bam!  Wow!  What a way to start off a movie review.  I guess the pressure is off from me having to craft and write three acts to this story, as you all know where this review is going and how it is going to end.  Now that the cat is out of the bag, let’s spend a few moments dissecting why A Perfect Getaway will not see its second life on my Blu-ray shelves.

The film started off much like an episode of ABC’s Lost with beautiful lush tropical scenery and hills filled with the sound of music.  Since the movie takes place in Hawaii, and I have always longed to visit there, it instantly grabbed my attention from the beginning and I had already felt myself filling with anticipation, in the construction of hope, that this movie could be a gem and that I will have some pretty scenery to show off some day soon in 1080P.  Dreadfully, my optimism took a turn for the worse as the movie entered its third act, but more about that in a bit.

A Prefect Getaway, which is directed and written by David Twohy, stars zombie a$%-kicker Milla Jovovich and Timothy Olyphant, who I swear could pass for Josh Duhamel’s twin any day of the week.  Both of them are actors that I have grown to appreciate in other film titles such as The Resident Evil Trilogy, Ultraviolet, Live Free and Die Hard and The Hitman.  With big names like those in the starring role slots, I went into this movie on a whim with little apprehension as to not even knowing what this movie was about.  I kind of figured it would be one of those films where you can only watch once because the twist would be so devastating and dramatic, but I had no idea how many flaws I would count along the way and afterwards too.

The film introduces us to a somewhat introverted couple that decides to go on a rigorous hiking adventure in Hawaii for their honeymoon, in lieu of the traditional places most newlyweds visit.  The woman (Cydney), played by Milla Jovovich, seems madly in love with her new husband (Cliff), while he seems overly geeky, trapped in his character’s complete lack of self-confidence.  After a few bumpy starts and snags in the road the newlyweds find themselves exploring the remote and dangerous hills of a Hawaii island in search of this beach they want to reach as part of their final destination.  Along the way, they meet a fellow tourist, Timothy Olyphant (Nick), and later his whacked out girlfriend (Gina), at least she initially seems completely whacked. But wait!  You have not seen whacked yet!

So along the way, as the four happy go lucky hikers hit the rough terrain in search of this beach, they all learn of a double murder, that took place in Honolulu, of a newlywed couple.  The victims all had their teeth pulled out.  If that’s not enough, Cydney and Cliff soon realize that Nick and Gina have some pretty weird and aggressive behaviors, but just who is fearing who, and is there another couple on the island that is capable of committing these murders or are they spending time with them already?  You kind of see why I can’t go any further into the plot without dropping some major spoilers along the way.

I do have to admit.  On paper the story seems very intriguing and right up until the third act it really had me thinking on the edge of my seat.  But then came the bomb!  The way in which the twist was so awkwardly delivered was a disappointing let down, to say the very least.  It went from a very much respectable and suspenseful Hollywood film into a B-movie with no warning signs at all.  I commend them on their creativity, but as the story got whacked so did the effects.  I thought the split-screen shots, as cool as they were, were just ludicrous.  It felt like all the sudden I was watching a Quentin Tarantino movie, not that there is anything wrong with his films, but it was not the same movie I was watching just minutes earlier. 

Unlike the ingenious conclusion that was executed brilliantly in cult classic film Fight Club, the twist here left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.  And unlike Fight Club, the more I thought about the twist in A Perfect Getaway, the more it just did not add up or make sense when you try to go back and think of all the little things to see if they can add up.  If you are a fan of the film Fight Club, then I think you already know what I mean by adding up all the little things to equal the revelation that you may or may not have seen coming.  I knew going in that this would probably be a film you could only watch once, but I never thought I’d be wishing my wife and I should have just spent our Anniversary watching The Ugly Truth as we originally intended.  The actors did a fine job with their roles and gave the story much credibility, but more often than not in movies, the third act squashed any reservation I had about wanting to see this film again.  Do yourself a favor, throw down your hard earned money on another fun thrill ride with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and give this one a rental in four months.