Brian Gazes At Megan Fox & Finds Jennifer’s Body

Jennifer's BodyLet’s be perfectly honest with ourselves.  The main draw of Jennifer’s Body is Megan Fox’s body.  Oops! I meant to say actress Megan Fox.  Is there really any dispute in the fact?  I, like most moviegoers, was really interested in one thing here.  No, it wasn’t to see what if anything would be shown of Megan Fox’s bangin’ body.  C’mon guys!  Get your perverted minds out of the gutter.  I simply wanted to know whether Miss Fox could sink or swim in her first leading role or if she was just another pretty face destined to become just a Hollywood fad.  I can hear it now.  A million and one readers, if I really had that many, are already screaming bull sh#%!

 So just how awful was Megan Fox in her first starring role?  I am going to go out on a proverbial limb here, hoping not to go out too far and risk a branch breaking and boldly say that she truly was the charm of this film.  From her corny one-liners to her sh#$-eating grins, I found myself partially amused throughout.  While her performance is not going to warrant any special recognition, it was exactly the kind of deliverance that I was expecting from her in this juvenile role.  Not to take her too seriously, I believe Miss Fox deposited a sincere portrayal of the yuppie high school cheerleader, we have all come to know and love, that just so happened to have a need for feeding on the flesh of the living.  For some strange reason Megan reminded me a lot of Mila Kunis’ character from That ‘70s Show, when she wasn’t practicing male population control, of course.

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So does the inclusion of Megan Fox make Jennifer’s Body a movie worth plopping down your hard earned Benjamin’s for?  If you are curious like me, then I think so.  However, if you were among the few in attendance tonight at the theater, your time may have been better spent enjoying the last remnants of summer nights.  I am not saying this because Jennifer’s Body is a bad movie, but on the contrary I believe it to be much of an acquired taste like beer first is.  It was just the right mixture of homogenous ingredients to get me over the hump of the bad movies I have seen over the past couple weeks, but not by much.  The film is a dark brooding horror comedy that feeds on your brain much like the undead zombies feed on fresh flesh.  Aligning perfectly with the split mixed reviews I have been observing ever since last week’s Toronto Film Festival, you are either going to find this movie appealing in a guilty pleasurable kind of way or you will simply be appalled by it.

If you found the vomit scenes in Drag Me To Hell too gross to handle, then just keep moving on, as this is not the film you are looking for (as I make my Jed-like wave).  Although the film is violent in nature, much of the gore is kept to a minimum.  In retrospect, if you cut out the very infrequent F-bombs that were used, I really cannot see a reason as to why this film could not have achieved a PG-13 rating.  The R-rating is what will probably keep the box office numbers low.  Despite the massive appeal that Megan Fox possesses over the male population, I was very surprised to behold a low theatrical turnout for opening night.  I could have walked into the movie, just as it was starting, and would have had no problem finding my favorite seats.  The movie studio is really going to hate me for this, but I feel this is my civic duty to let all the fanboys know that Megan Fox does not have any nude scenes.  You have actually seen more nudity of her on the Internet, during production of this film, then you will ever see within the movie’s 103-minute runtime.

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It has been said that writer Diablo Cody wrote Juno at Starbucks in a Target store.  So don’t be alarmed when you hear a random shout out to Super Target within the movie.  Little inside jokes like this are what I find clever in filmmaking, with the exception of Revenge of the Sith’s lightsaber handle swaps.  Besides the eye candy of Megan Fox, Jennifer’s Body also stars Mamma Mia!’s Amanda Seyfried and everyone’s favorite newspaper editor J.K. Simmons.  In addition to the well-known cast members, the film also rocks a sonic soundtrack that will appeal to even the broadest range of alternative fans.  If you are like me and you enjoy a hot female lead, a campy B-movie storyline/feel and essential horror gore, then you will probably like Jennifer’s Body.  Notice, I used the word probably.  This film will not appeal to everyone.  You just have to keep an open mind, accept the fact that you are there for Megan and be able to appreciate the mundane from time-to-time.  If I had to break the film down in mathematical terms I would quantify a statement that Jennifer’s Body equals the quirkiness of Juno plus the horror comedy elements of Drag Me To Hell.  Take that for what it’s worth.  With all that being said, this will be a Week 1 Blu-ray purchase for me. (Grade: B- )

I scoured the Internet and found three different theatrical posters (see below) for Jennfier’s Body.  Hell yes!  Enjoy! 

Jennifer's Body Theatrical Poster

Jennifer's Body - Alternate Theatrical Poster

Jennifer's Body - Foreign Theatrical Poster

Feel free to leave some comments below and let me know your thoughts on this review and/or Jennifer’s Body.  Thanks!


Owner/Writer/Reviewer/Editor, Dreamer, Producer, Agent of Love, Film Lover, Writer of Screenplays and a Devoted Apostle to all things Ford Mustangs (the real ones with V8's!). Some of my favorite films include FIGHT CLUB, MOULIN ROUGE, THE DARK KNIGHT, STAR WARS alongside television shows such as SEINFELD, 24, SANFORD & SON and even the often loathed in the geek community BIG BANG THEORY. Outside of my three lives I live I also enjoy spending time with my girlfriend and our three girls (of the furry kind).

1 Response to “Brian Gazes At Megan Fox & Finds Jennifer’s Body”

  1. wes

    they got a Japanese version of Megan Fox – Yoko Kumada who looks pretty yummy too