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Brian Sits in the Sorority Row

Sorority RowI’m generally not a fan of these teenage horror movies, but I have to admit that the film trailer’s plot really intrigued me.  After seeing the trailer a record breaking four times before each of my Hangover viewings I really was down with the way it set up the movie on how the initial tragedy within Sorority Row had happened.  Beyond that I kind of developed a burning Listerine taste in my mouth and a tingling spider sense that the rest of the movie would be your typical teenage slasher film.  In contrast, this film had all the right ingredients that I knew my wife would love as I turned to her in the theater and I could see her salivating over the college sorority partying taken place on the screen.  I mean what could go wrong?  You have six sorority college girls living it up like a trailer from Girls Gone Wild.  Could the movie really be all that bad?  That’s what I was hoping my screener passes would tell me.

 Sorority Row

 Little did I know that Sorority Row is actually a remake of a 1983 slasher film titled The House on Sorority Row.  What’s wrong with me?  Did I really think Hollywood had anymore original ideas left?  I really need to get more sleep.  Let’s get back to those college girls, shall we?  The film stars Briana Evigan, Leah Pipes, Jamie Chung, Margo Harshman, Audrina Patridge and Bruce and Demi’s daughter Rumer Willis.  The resemblance in the face of Rumer Willis, is uncanny to her mother’s, but Demi has nothing to worry about.  And guess what?  Star Wars fans of the world rejoice!  Our beloved Carrie Fisher, although very much older than her metal bikini wearing days from 1983, even has a role in the movie.  What more can us geeks ask for?  You want to know right?  All right, then read on!

 Sorority Row

You want the truth right?  Well good, because that’s what I am going to deliver.  I am not ashamed to admit that I had a good time with Sorority Row, with the exception of my elderly neighbors who kept yelling “God Almighty!” every time someone got murdered. Sure the film never lacks predictability throughout, but it was a plausible good time at the multiplex unlike last night’s outing of 9.  It’s refreshing to see a movie that knows it is serving up a cheesy experience and yet does not take itself seriously.  I lost track of the number of times Sorority Row spoofed itself and the horror genre, but that’s a good thing.  Isn’t that what made the Scream movies so fresh?

 Sorority Row

I have to laugh at the fact that for a film being billed as Audrina Patridge’s first feature she does not get much screen time at all.  I don’t consider that a spoiler, as much as I do a warning to any patrons going in just for her.  I really had no qualms with the acting in Sorority Row.  It is what it is.  I chalk it up to be on par with that of my wife’s weekly viewings of TV’s Gossip Girl or something along those lines.  Pretty much every element you have ever seen in a teenage/college type horror film can be found in here, including all the bumps in the night that make the young girls scream at the top of their lungs, movie goers jump out of their seats and the elderly women sitting next to me keep saying “God Almighty!”  Rumer Willis spent the entire movie crying in a non-stop panic frenzy so I can’t fairly critique her acting abilities.  Again, she has nothing on Demi Moore.  Take that for what it is worth.  The only girl I really recognized within the film, and I don’t want to hear any crap for this, is Briana Evigan.  I remember her from the second Step Up movie.  Shhh…yes I was made to sit through that once upon a time.  I have a sneaky suspicion that our fellow reviewer Gregg could have become a big fan of actress Jamie Chung (pictured below), if he had been there tonight.

 Sorority Row

Sorority Row tells the story of six Theta Pi college sorority students who take a prank dangerously way too far on a cheating boyfriend.  As the inappropriate prank spirals fatally out of control the girls are faced with the hardest decision of their lives.  Do they risk life of imprisonment over an innocent prank gone horribly awry or are their bonds of sisterhood strong enough to keep the worst possible kind of secret from ever being known?  One-by-one the girls find out just how dangerous the lie they are living with really is as a mysterious caped killer sets out to remind them that their secret is not as secret as they thought it was.  On paper it sounds like a familiar horror formula for success does it not?

Sorority Row

If you are fan of stereotypical teenage slasher movies, the Final Destination films and/or the Scream franchise, then by all means make sure you check this one out.  I think Sorority Row will fit your demographics perfectly.  Call me lame, as I do not scare as easily as the average layperson in the theater, but there were a lot of loud screams, shrieks and jumpy people watching the feature tonight.  For a horror film, that’s about the best compliment you can get.  Knee-jerk reactions like I just mentioned lets you know you successfully pulled off a victory.  Sorority Row will never rival the classic horror films of yesterday, but in a world full of Saw like gore, its always refreshing to view a cookie cutter college-age horror film every now and then that does not take a lot of brain power or stamina to watch.  I bestow upon the film a generous B- score for keeping me mildly entertained throughout.

Sorority Row

Sorority Row opens everywhere nationwide Friday, September 11th.  For publicity and legality purposes I was asked not to publish this review until 12:01 AM on the 11th.  Thanks for reading!  Please feel free to share your thoughts below.

Sorority Row Theatrical Poster

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Owner/Writer/Reviewer/Editor, Dreamer, Producer, Agent of Love, Film Lover, Writer of Screenplays and a Devoted Apostle to all things Ford Mustangs (the real ones with V8's!). Some of my favorite films include FIGHT CLUB, MOULIN ROUGE, THE DARK KNIGHT, STAR WARS alongside television shows such as SEINFELD, 24, SANFORD & SON and even the often loathed in the geek community BIG BANG THEORY. Outside of my three lives I live I also enjoy spending time with my girlfriend and our three girls (of the furry kind).

2 Responses to “Brian Sits in the Sorority Row”


  1. maricar

    i was not salivating during the frat party scene. just remembering some good times in my youth. great movie review, well put. I would add that the obnoxious banter among those sorors was hilarious. yes, probably because those stereotypes were among my peers back then.

  2. blu jay

    your elderly neighbors screaming sounds like you were screening the thing outside on the side of your garage…Audrina from “The Hills” is gorgeous but no actor. If she is the biggest “name” in the film. well…Now Princess Leia Carrie Fisher in this isn’t much of a plus to her career. She’s been busy with her one-woman comedy at the Berkley Rep in the Bay Area, to good reviews. She took it East for a run, too, then came back to Berkeley.