‘Warm Bodies’, Slow Corpses, Fun Movie (Movie Review)
It would seem highly unlikely that I would like a romantic comedy with a regular human girl and a hipster zombie as the romantic leads that are supposed to fall in love, but here we are. Based on description alone, this seemed like a bad idea, but rather than dwell on being a sappy love story with a catchy gimmick in the midst of audiences loving all things zombie and paranormal teen romance novel-related, Warm Bodies is actually an enjoyable, clever, and oddly sweet film. It works best when it deals with the ins and outs of a zombie-infested world from the point-of-view of its zombie narrator, but even if the romantic drama and stakes do not fully work, this film was still able to make for a fun alternative to standard zombie fare, let alone generic rom-coms.
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The early 2013 action trifecta continues with Sly Stallone’s latest offering, Bullet to the Head. Arnold delivered some fun with The Last Stand and Bruce Willis is set to deliver some more “Yippee Ki Yays” in a couple weeks, so for now, here is a Stallone vehicle that was pushed back almost a year and looked terrible to begin with. What could go wrong? Well, a lot of things, but that does not mean that Bullet to the Head is not enjoyable. Make no mistake, this is not a very good film, but there is a lot of guilty pleasure joy to get out of this film, were one to see it with the right group of friends. Despite the incredibly bland story, mismatched buddy film angle, and disappointing action, the movie…well I guess there isn’t a whole lot to recommend, but it definitely has the feel of a macho 80s film; just not a very good one.
The idea of putting Al Pacino and Christopher Walken in a movie together, as guys who have been friends for decades (with added support from Alan Arkin) seems like an easy recipe for fun. Add the fact that they are all playing criminals at the end of their run, roles that these guys could play in their sleep, and there is almost a guarantee that the film will appeal to those who love these actors. Unfortunately, Stand Up Guys really wastes a lot of potential by not having these actors do anything more than play up all the standard jokes you see in films about old friends getting back together and acknowledging that they are older. Sure, these guys know how to play a moment and hold solemn expressions on their faces when the time calls for it, but we also get a twenty-minute subplot about Viagra. Add on a truly awful ending and Stand Up Guys is a pretty big disappointment, given what could have come from it.
Where does one start with this film? If you’ve caught even the smallest fragment of critic talk on this picture, you know it’s been labeled as everything from star-studded to vulgar. The cast contains some of Hollywood’s most prominent names like Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Richard Gere, Naomi Watts and Kate Winslet just to name a few…and that’s literally just a few of the actors in the prominent cast. I made it a point not to look up the reasoning behind the film’s rather bland title, just to see if the film itself would unveil the mystery. It never did give that up, but where it kept quite on a title, it went all out everywhere else.
A co-worker first told me about this film some months back, of which I thought he was joking. When he persisted that there really was a Hansel & Gretel movie coming out, I made a mad dash to my phone and checked out the trailer. My initial thought was, “What’s this? The latest trend on the heels of Abe Lincoln hunting vampires? What’s next? Napoleon: Sasquatch Hunter?” The film’s preview didn’t exactly light my fire, but with Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner headlining the movie, I figured I’d give it a go.
In 1993, Hong Kong film director John Woo made his American feature film debut with Hard Target, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. That film is not very good as a whole, but the action is solid and one can see Woo’s signature style lurking beneath what is essentially a studio-produced action film, with a bit more talent behind the lens. The Last Stand is the American feature film debut of South Korean director Kim Jee-woon and it is better than Hard Target. It also has its share of problems, given the type of film it is, but Jee-woon’s style is apparent and hopefully future American efforts from him are even more successful. The Last Stand also marks the return of Arnold Schwarzenegger in a leading role for the first time in ten years, proving that while he may be getting older, the one-liners haven’t much changed.
When a new movie that stars Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, and Catherine Zeta Jones comes out in January, some tend to wonder why. After having seen Broken City, the answer is clearer; it’s not a very good movie and doesn’t have much going on that would scream spring or fall release. This film has a very tired plot that does itself no favors by removing much of the dramatic tension based on the setup. It is an attempt at a neo-noir, but it is too large in scale to really nail that aspect and Wahlberg is no Humphrey Bogart. Despite all of this though, the film is pretty watchable thanks to its cast, which also includes a number of solid character actors. The film does not rise above any conventions, but it is also not a complete waste.
I kind of feel sorry for my fellow reviewers here because for weeks now they had to hear me complain left and right about Zero Dark Thirty not being theatrically released within the calendar year of 2012 in the greatest city in the world, Cleveland, Ohio. So therefore, just about every critic in Los Angeles or New York City had Zero Dark Thirty in their Top Ten Films of 2012 lists and I had The Woman In Black. Woe is me, huh? Well that’s okay. Maybe one day I’ll be fortunate enough to live within the city of angels, but until that time comes I will take whatever I can get in the rustbelt capital of the world and enjoy my constitutional freedom by taking in the film that everyone in LA and NYC has been buzzing so loudly about…Katheryn Bigelow’s sure thing for Best Picture of the year, Zero Dark Thirty. So while the critics elite of the world already had their day in court, join me in taking up our Midwestern constitutional arms and let’s talk some more about it, shall we? 
Gangster Squad is the R-rated, spiritual successor to Dick Tracy that nobody wanted. The film is a stylish exercise in action sequences, featuring a bunch of good actors that have decided not to do much acting, aside from Sean Penn, who attempts to devour every scene he is in and hopes to stop short of chewing on his own makeup. The film is exactly what I expected, stylish, “fun,” and terrible, all within the same breath. The good thing is that everyone is at least dressed quite nicely, but in the realm of gangster pictures, this one can simply sleep with the fishes, rather than sit on top of the world.
The year 2012 presented a number of harrowing situations on film, such as the plane crashes that took place in The Grey and Flight, along with the wrath of both Titans and Russell Crowe’s voice in ‘Les Mis.’ The Impossible presents what is literally a story of impossible survival, as a family deals with a horrific event. Based on a true story, this is a film about the struggle to survive during the catastrophic 2004 tsunami that ravaged the coast of Thailand. It features three very strong performances and top-notch direction, as it attempts to place a visual eye on the horrors suffered by people caught in a deadly fight against nature. Few issues regarding what is being ultimately presented aside, The Impossible is an intense film that certainly displays effective filmmaking techniques and powerful drama. 
On December 26, 2004, a massive earthquake occurred on the floor of the Indian Ocean. This violent undersea action set forth a chain of events that caused an enormous amount of pressure and force upward and outward. The end product was a tsunami and resulting devastation unlike any the world had seen before. The casualties numbered over a quarter million spread over southeast Asia, destroying entire towns, lives and displacing the living from their relatives. In the case of one particular family, an immense natural disaster was not going to keep them apart. But without the use of computers, phone lines or radios, finding one another would seem like nothing short of The Impossible.
