It has happened. The Minions now have their own film. Admittedly I am not a Minions fan. I have seen both Despicable Me films and have not been fond of their antics. A whole film about them is not exactly something that was going to rock my world, but I am happy to give everything a chance. Now having done so, my opinions haven’t changed. Additionally, even while not being a Minion-lover, there really isn’t much of a film here for those super excited for it. For those without kids looking to enjoy an animated comedy, Minions does little to justify its existence beyond being 90 minutes of colorful noise. Continue reading ‘‘Minions’ Is Just Colorful Noise (Movie Review)’
Archive for the 'Movie Reviews' Category
Director Gregory Jacobs and Writer Reid Caroline have a present for women and men alike — and it’s called “Magic Mike XXL,” an absolute must see. Take your hyper critical thinking caps off for a second and just enjoy the ride. THE RIDE. XXL is in the title for god’s sake get into it. My eyes ran a train on a pound of dick glitter for almost two hours and I smiled through basically the entire thing. If I wasn’t smiling I was having serious feels for Joe Manganiello character’s sexual arc and witnessing estranged male entertainer BFFs rekindle friendships and discover how much they seriously love stripping together. This movie is a 5-star buffet in some foreign exotic land no one knows about; I just couldn’t choose where to look or what to put on my plate. My brain plate.
To say the Terminator franchise has been a troubled one these past two entries would be like saying there’s a distinctive taste difference between vanilla and chocolate ice cream. It’s that apparent. Just when you thought Terminator Salvation was going to reinvigorate the franchise, production of a fifth film went right down the toilet slapped with bankruptcy forcing the property to once again go up for sale. The question was who’s going to buy it? You? Me? Why not Annapurna Pictures with distribution help from Paramount? And then there’s that spelling of “Genisys” in this film’s title to deal with. Oh well! You can’t win them all. I suppose in the end we should all be thanking the Gods for even letting a fifth film in this troubled Terminator franchise to exist, right? Absolutely! Continue reading ‘Arnold Is Back For Absurd Fun In ‘Terminator Genisys’ (Movie Review)’
I haven’t wanted to walk out a movie so badly since last summer’s “A Million Ways to Die in the West,” also written/directed/starring Seth MacFarlane. If “Ted 2” doesn’t make my top 5 Worst Films of the Year in December, I’m going to be horrified. Lazy, pandering, boring, unbearably long, and excruciatingly unfunny, “Ted 2” is a complete waste of time and money.
There is a genuine, chaotic sense of menace that possesses every frame of “Creep,” and it will dig deep into your psyche and fester long after the film’s 82 minutes are over. The “found-footage” style of filmmaking is one that has remained stagnant for many years, employed only because it’s fast and cheap. If it is to successfully continue, auteurs should study “Creep” and recognize why it works so well. However, if found-footage were to swiftly evaporate from the mainstream, it will have ended on a very high note.
I have to admit, I wasn’t instantly the biggest fan of Ted upon its release. Despite being a huge Family Guy fan, it ironically took some time for me to warm up to being a fan of a flick that deals with a talking teddy bear living in our real world. Thanks in part to the chemistry between Mark Wahlberg, who’s hysterical in this role, and Seth MacFarlane, who infuses life into the fuzzy Ted, warming up was a relatively quick process. For when Ted fell below $8 on Blu-ray a couple Black Fridays ago, I thus became a fan due to my economical choice to invest in the feature and give it a second chance at redemption. Therefore, you don’t need to sign me up to go see Ted 2, I’m already there and onboard. See how wishy washy I can be? It’s terrible. Continue reading ‘Haters Going To Hate But Ted Deserves Equal Rights “2” (Movie Review)’
I haven’t seen Alan Trezza’s short film from 2008, called “Burying the Ex,” but I have seen the feature length adaptation of the same name, which Trezza also wrote, and I can tell you that it should have stayed a short. It is appropriate then, that while watching the film, I kept thinking to myself how there’s only about 30 minutes of plot, stretched out thin to 90 minutes. Continue reading ‘Burying the Ex (Movie Review)’
Finally delivering on the promise of John Hammond, Jurassic World is a theme park we’ve all dreamed of. A place where people can ride a Triceratops. A place where you can roam in the middle of a Stegosaurus herd in a gyro sphere. Where you can take a boat tour down the river, and travel from attraction to attraction on a high tech monorail. It’s fully functional, with enough inspiration for ten parks.
In preparation of Jurassic World, like a nerd, I spent the entire weekend cramming in the previous three films. It’s safe to say that I’ve seen the first one like a hundred times, but the latter two, I honestly had no recollection of. I also have to admit, these films aren’t really my favorites either. The effects are dated, but the concept is oh so cool. And with Jurassic World you’re talking about the star quality of Chris Pratt, who is practically on fire due to the overwhelming success of last year’s Guardians of the Galaxy. The guy went from a pudgy beach bum to a beefy, household name. If you try to touch him, you’re going to get burned. Han Solo…Indiana Jones…bring them all on! Chris Pratt is ready to tackle them all and so am I with this film review of Jurassic World, which lands in theaters everywhere this Friday, June 12th. Come, come. Continue reading ‘Welcome To ‘Jurassic World’ (Movie Review)’
Let’s start this one off with act of admission. Insidious Chapter 3 isn’t exactly going to get any brownie points in the original title category. That much can be determined without even sitting down to witness the feature. And unlike the first and second films, this “third” chapter does not follow the timeline nor does it mesh with the conclusion set up in the second installment (although that’s not completely true). Instead, it’s one of those dreaded prequels! Boo on that if not done right! However, let’s not be too hasty and judge a book by its cover. Every movie is subject to a trial and that’s what we are here today for. It’s the critic in me versus Insidious Chapter 3. Who will prevail? Read on to find out. Bwahaha… Continue reading ‘Insidious Chapter 3 – The Rise of Elise Rainier (Movie Review)’
Entourage is going to be a hard movie to judge fairly considering I did not see a single episode of the 8 HBO seasons of the show until late last week. And to be honest with y’all, I really regret that considering the film picks up where the series kind of left off, chronicling the continuing career of movie star Vincent Chase and his “entourage” of friends. However, at least by taking in the first season of Entourage last week, I was exposed to Vince and friends’ remarkable world of partying and girls, not to mention the ebb and flow of the HBO series. I guess you could say that I was at least armed with the basics before going into the screening this past Monday night and like they taught us after school on G.I. Joe, knowing is half the battle (I hope I don’t date myself there with that one). So I’m going to confidently judge this film on its merits as a standalone product below, not some elongated episode of the show continuing on where the eighth season left off. Here goes nothing. Continue reading ‘Entourage Tastes Great, Less Filling (Movie Review)’
It’s almost summer 2015, but it wouldn’t be another year at the movies without the obligatory disaster film, would it? No way! This time out we have the heavyweight Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson leading the pack. And while the trailers, with the exception of the slow, melodic take on “California Dreamin,” didn’t do much to whet my appetite for this one I was just hoping for at least some senseless fun. Is that too much to ask? If I could leave the theater this past Tuesday night with a few giggles had, then it would all be worth it. Plus, I owe my girlfriend big time for dragging her out of the house against her will assuring her both Tomorrowland and Jupiter Ascending wouldn’t be that bad. So I guess you could say, I felt trapped under guilt when I received the press invite for this one armed with the knowledge that she really wanted to see San Andreas. And here we are. Let’s chat about the chaos, mayhem, destruction and FX down below. Continue reading ‘San Andreas: Still Fun Despite Not Being 100% Seismic Accurate’
Let the record show that I had zero interest in ever seeing Tomorrowland. The various trailers and TV spots did little to interest in me in the film and worst, it reminded me of that God awful Jupiter Ascending piece of garbage )and that is being polite). There’s no way I ever want to revisit that life experience again! However, it was a chat amongst the Why So blu staff that sightly changed my point of view. Such sentiments as “Brad Bird could do no wrong” were tossed about heavily. Then while attending an IMAX screening of Avengers; The Age of Ultron, we were surprised with a 15-minute action clip of Tomorrowland. Suddenly, the film didn’t look that bad. I was now on the fence about Tomorrowland instead of being dead set against it. So oh why the hell not? Life’s too short for regrets. Let’s see what promise Tomorrowland may show. I do love me some original sci-fi. Continue reading ‘Request To Close Down The ‘Tomorrowland’ Attraction (Movie Review)’
It can’t be easy to face a certain kind of pressure when it comes to remaking classic films. This updated take on ‘Poltergeist’ does not feel too much like a collaboration of great minds in an effort to make something new and different. Instead, it feels like the results of talented people making the best of a bad situation.
Before we even get into chatting about all the reasons why Mad Max Fury Road is “50 Shades of F#%king Awesome” I want to spend a moment reflecting upon the film’s theatrical trailers over the past year. All I can say is F YEAH! You want to know how to do a trailer right and pack seats? Study these trailers! They made me feel like I was reliving my childhood all over again. I had not seen post apocalyptic, insane Rated-R action like that since the 80’s. God bless these trailers! Like KFC does to chicken, George Miller does to trailers. He does them RIGHT! It’s like someone took that final action sequence in Neil Marshall’s 2008 Doomsday and made a feature length film about the lunacy of it all. In other words, it’s about fricking time! Come on! Check your brain at the door, buckle up and enjoy this wild ride with me. This is the off-the-wall completely insane world of George Miller’s MAD MAX FURY ROAD! Continue reading ‘‘Mad Max Fury Road’ Is 50 Shades of F#%king Awesome!’
Do my words here really even matter? In all honesty, it makes no difference if I write this Avengers: Age of Ultron review lazily or as proper and refined as I possibly can. You want to know why? It’s because regardless of what I conjure up here, you’re still all going to put your money down at the ticket window this weekend and see it. Like comparing the size of the Hulk to a mere mortal man, Avengers: Age of Ultron will be a colossal cash cow and not you, me or anyone else can argue that point. That check has already been taken to the bank, cashed and deposited as it’s on track for the biggest opening ever and it very well just might claim that honor. That’s why I’m keeping this review very simple. However, all that said and done is great, like Cyndi Lauper or Sheryl Crow in life, all I wanna do is have some fun with the Avengers again. Did I have some? Read on and find out… Continue reading ’15 Reasons Why ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ Will Bewitch You’
Furious 7 is the little engine that could in my opinion. Not even the untimely and tragic death of one of the franchise’s main stars, Paul Walker, was able to completely derail this speeding train from moving forward. Make no doubt about it. The Fast and the Furious franchise has been quite the global exploit in the past two entries, but the nagging question still remained for me going into this press screening Tuesday night. Does the unstoppable train ride lose any speed or momentum with James Wan helming the project and from the loss of Walker, or does it continue on in the quick speedy fashion we’re all accustomed to? These questions and many more were what I hoped to answer this past Tuesday night. So if you don’t mind, I tend to always practice safety first. Therefore, I need to ask you to buckle your seat belts please, put all your appendages inside the car and enjoy the ride as it’s about to get very fast and furious around here. Vroom! Continue reading ‘FURIOUS 7 Is Michael Bay On Steroids! (Movie Review)’
The “cute factor” always plays a big role in animated features made for a family audience. As it stands, I am happy to watch these animated features that manage to balance a level of cuteness with some witty writing, good-natured humor, or other fairly positive elements that make for a good film. Home definitely makes attempts at cuteness, given the way we see certain characters, but I found a lot of that to be undone by the nature of the story that I could not get over. Some unintentionally uncomfortable implications of the “friendly” alien invasion that set up this story ultimately kept me from embracing the film more and the nature of the aliens known as “Boov” did not help much either.